The Diet Mantra

Recently I have been hearing and reading about the need to diet, the need to lose weight, or the need for a change in lifestyle.  As our society continues to praise the beach model beauty, many of us (especially ladies) strive for that "oh-so-perfect" body.  Whether it is for health, self confidence, or peace of mind, it is hard to resist the bandwagon of creating "the new you" when it is blaring in every other commercial or advertisement.

As one of the many people out there who have striven for the list above, I have found that the mentality and perspective one takes makes the difference between a diet and a lifestyle change.  I'm not here to pose The Almighty Plan upon you because lord knows, there are enough of those out there.  However, I chose to list the factors that may help others who - like me - just want to feel good about themselves and their bodies.

The Spiritual Journey - This is probably the most important troll to tackle when attempting change in your physique.  I find that so many people turn to dieting with a negative frame of mind.  The "I'm fat" or "I want to be skinnier" or "I don't like how I look or feel" are all negative self reflections which make the whole process more of a burden than it should be.  As difficult as it is, the change should be something positive as well as the reasons behind it.  A healthier mind set might instead be "I want to feel good about myself" or "I want to try something new."  Making a choice involving change is an adapting process, so seeing it as an adventure creates a sphere of possibilities instead of a cave of restrictions.

Diet vs. Lifestyle Change: It's all about Perspective - I do not like the word diet.  In our society, it tends to be a marketing tool for any and every health program to jump on in order to persuade the population that their formula is best: "Eat this pill or this shake or this fancy food system and you will lose weight without trying!" I wish. Dieting is a tool for weight loss, yes.  However, unless long term ramifications are made and accepted, once the diet is 'over', so is the process.  This is where terminology comes into play.  Lifestyle change tends to be associated with a long-term commitment.  People that make lifestyle changes tend to have long term goals behind their motivations.  The "look good for the summer bikini" may be a bonus, but it is not the ultimate goal.  At the same time, a lifestyle change may take longer to bear fruits of success, but it can be easier to maintain for - well - life!

The Workout: Make it Work! - Whether claiming the 'diet' or the 'lifestyle change', being active is important to keeping your body working through old age.  However, sometimes this word intimidates or discourages people who are either not athletic or just don't like to 'work out.'  While working out is important, it is not the end-all to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  One need not run a marathon in order to feel good.  For some people, increasing stamina and physical fitness is fun, appealing and a healthy challenge.  That's super.  However, each person has their own fitness goal, and with the world of possibilities, one person's ultimate workout may vary vastly from another.  I say, find something that sticks and go with it.

Making Changes - Sometimes the hardest thing to do is changing the way we eat.  Where dieting goes astray is it often focuses on one area of eating instead of looking at the various ways we can change habits. Whether it is portion control or food quality, both are things to consider when changing the food we eat.  When making changes, a crucial first step is to acknowledge your weaknesses.  Do you have a sweet tooth? A salty tooth?  Or do you have cravings?  I find that trying to eliminate your weakness entirely makes the whole experience negative.  Instead of ignoring them, accept them and make adaptations that allow for positive change.  For example, if you like snacking or grazing throughout the day, limit the "bad for you" items, and replace them with healthier foods, like vegetables, fruits or nuts.  If you can't cut it out entirely, change it.  If you can cut the frequency of intake and don't want to cut on calories, don't.  Moderation, moderation, moderation.  Find what works for you and stick with it. Sounding familiar?

The fact is - we are human and we are different.  Which means that one "plan" is not always the right plan, and sometimes the baby steps in change yield the greatest results.  So for anyone out there who wants to lose weight, diet, etc. make positive changes that work for you.  This is a reflection, not an instruction manual, so take what you will from this and I wish you the best on your journey!

A Litany

I don't normally post things like this; however, I thought this would be an exception. 




We all grieve differently.  On May 31, 2012, I received a phone call that my grandma had passed that morning.  Shocked at first, I didn’t cry or emote much emotion besides shock and yet somehow,  I was happy for her spirit.  However, I knew that I needed to reflect my feelings about her.  I’m no pro, but sometimes writing can trigger emotions one cannot always express verbally.  This is my litany to her -

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My grandma was a fine lady.  I remember going to her and my grandpa’s house all the time as they were my babysitters for the greater part of my childhood.  She used to sit with me, take my silly quizzes that I made up so I could use their computer and grade them.  But that’s beside the point.  She took them.  She also taught me card games such as “Scrunch”, Kings Corners, and many others in there somewhere.  And let me not forget to mention that at the beginning of the summer she braved the mighty cold 60 degree water of their pool with me - just because I wanted to go swimming.  Words that come to mind in my recollection of her - spirited, joyful, passionate, and most of all - loving.  She never stopped loving.  Always a hug and a kiss with those lips that were always covered in some bright shade of lipstick.  But that was her.  Her bright lips, her bright smile and her bright personality.  She was a ray of sunshine for our whole family and I always felt close to her because she brought me in.  Drew me into her sphere of giving.  

One thing I can recollect is her passion for her Irish heritage and her passion for music.  She introduced me to music that I might have never touched otherwise - music like the Chieftans, Andrew Lloyd Weber among others.  I recall the times when I used to sit in her back room chair with a CD I had borrowed, and I would sit there. Listening.  Perhaps she always knew that I would have such a strong bond to music.  It runs in our family after all.  She always had a spice to her.  A sassy side that was stimulated by my grandpa’s grumblings or mumblings about one thing or another.  The two of them loved each other so much. Loved their family and treasured the bond that they were able to instill in all of us.  I am so proud to have come from a family where everyone is welcome.  There are no “in-laws” in our family.  We are all family.  She was everyone’s mother and she kept that current strong.  Or should I say they did.  Eugene and Marilyn Husslein.   They left a legacy of love and forever bound friendship.

I miss her.  I miss her spark and yet, with her passing I am so happy that she is reunited with her spirit that was only half full after the love of her life left this world for the eternal.  Now she is at peace.  Now she is whole.
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I love you Grandma.

The Art of Conversation Today or Lack thereof

I went to type an email the other day - a personal email - and somehow felt foolish doing so. In the age of high speed results and smartphones, I heard recently that email was not the "cool" means of communication anymore - not when things like Facebook messenger and texting are "faster" and appeal to our need for instant gratification. But as frustrating as the unspoken demands of instant gratification are, I am not here to discuss them (yet!). What is of interest to me is the art of communication and how it struggles to stay afloat in this ever advancing technological age which glorifies instant gratification.

When looking back at artful dialogue and conversation, I always turn to Jane Austen. Now granted, her novels and their characters reflect an older age of dialect where conversation had certain expectations for each party. Many of these expectations were between men and women, but the fact is - do we see these in our culture anymore?

The age of letter writing is practically extinct which is unfortunate because of its ability to express emotion without personal contact. Then we came to the phone conversation, which by today's standards is still the next best thing to face-to-face contact (or Skype). Yet the ever popular means of communication (at least amongst the younger generation) rests in texting and the instant messenger.

I remember when the ability to send a text message was so novel and not as popular at first because of the limitations in character amount. From that, and our apparent desire to avoid spelling out full words, we came up with the shortcuts--including our favorites "lol" "u" "sup" "brb" "gtg" "ttyl" "rofl" "omg" "r" and the list goes on. Then technology got savvy, gave us more space, allowed us to type full words, use capitalization and, believe it or not - punctuation! With this innovation in instant gratification, you would think that everyone would jump on the bandwagon and write full sentences again. Unfortunately, this has not been the case (at least in my own experience).

How does this affect the 'art' of communication?

With the apparent inability to use full sentences in conversation (even if, yes, through texting), we seem to have lost the ability to carry that through in our own personal conversation. With people texting more and using messengers as modes of conversation rather than talking on the phone, we sometimes forget the intricacies that conversations possess, whether in person or on the phone, such as the subtle transitions from one topic to the other.

I will not pretend that I do not text. I do, and probably more than I should, but I still make phone calls or, when possible, Skype. However, I think it is important that we not forget the art of good conversation and the ability to communicate with the physical world as it is that aspect of human culture that refines us.